Cherish the Moments

Bucky is a unique soul.  He loves to play, but he also loves to cuddle.  This morning he insistantly crawled into my lap while I sat in the recliner.  He curled up in my lap (overflowingly since he's a pretty big dog), leaned his head into my chest, and stretched out his forearm to lay it over me.  Never had I had a dog that was so 'humanly' expressive of his love.  Most are like Yukon, content to hug and love in a canine fashion, but not Bucky.  That just isn't good enough for him, he wants so much to imitate how Jim and I show love for each other.  It is touching in a way that is difficult to explain, but oh so wonderfuly fulfilling.

This morning he sat with me like that for close to an hour even though I know it is a bit uncomfortable and probably too warm for him.  The devotion of this boy is simply incredible.  In harness he pulls his heart out, and will lead or follow equally willingly, though he prefers lead (problem is he gets distracted easily, so I have to put him with a dog that doesn't get distracted from running).  At home he is incredibly loving and loves nothing more than to be petted and loved on.  Well, maybe he also loves laying in front of the AC when it is warm out...

Yukon

Yukon is probably one of my most enigmatic dogs.  Serene and contemplative when he's not playing.  There is a sadness in his soul that is buried deep in his eyes.  He has known betrayal and abandonment and is afraid at times to trust and love unconditionally.  It has taken three years to finally let go of his hurt and realize that we will never allow that to happen to him again.

This morning he came to me full of love and the want for reassurance and company.  He approached with tail wagging, a shy smile, body canted, ears back and head slightly lowered showing me respect and love.  His tongue licked my lower jaw first, then my face as I rubbed his ears and belly.  Knowing he had my acceptance of his attention, he put his front paws on the chair between my knees and leaned closer so that I could hug him.  His head rested firmly on my shoulder in a return hug as he let out a sigh of contentment.  I could feel the unconditional love, respect and adoration from him as clearly as I might my husband or son.  He trusts me, and his faith is in me.  I'm sure he felt my love, respect and adoration for him as well. 

Our relationship is built on respect, trust and love.  He respects my ability to provide for him and knows his world is controlled by me, at the same time he trusts that I am benevolent and will make sure he does not go hungry, and I will protect him from fear and pain.  More than that, he loves me because I provide for him with love and has learned I would not betray that love.

For my part, I respect his power, his strength, agility and sheer athleticism and I provide him the venue to explore and revel in his power.  It is beautiful for me to watch him run, and being a part of his pack when he runs is like no other feeling on earth.  We are one, and we run because we can, and it is pure joy.  I trust him that he will never lash out at me and will respect my wishes as I have his best interests at heart when I ask something of him.  I reward him with love and with special treats for his good behaviors and for a reward for running with the pack. 

I also respect he is a forever young and inquisitive mind, and keep alert for him getting in to things he shouldn't.  But there is no fear in the admonishment, no bullying.  He has learned that I would never hurt or bully him in to something he did not want to do, but I will intervene when his or another's safety is at risk. 

The three years it has taken to build this relationship with him have been well worth it.

Cowboy, Ghost, Ace and Princess, or how I lost my house to the dogs again

A friend asked if I had room for another running dog as he didn't want to show any more.  After a bit of a discussion, I asked if it would be ok if I tried to rehabilitate him back to the show ring.  The problem was that he had been terribly frightened at a show and did not seem to want to go to another show.  And so it was that I met my friend down in Bowling Green and picked up Cowboy.

He's a very sweet gentle soul with a lovely smile.  It took less than an hour to finish the introductions, and soon he was good friends with Bucky and Princess who thought I brought her home a boy toy. 

Needless to say, she had to be kept separate from him as she, Ace and Freya decided that would be an opportune moment to go in to heat.  All thought of beginning Cowboy's rehab training had to be set aside while I dealt with keeping the girls away from him, and housetraining him not to mark everywhere.  It was also hard to get his attention away from raging hormones, so I took the time to earn his trust, give him time to adjust to his new home, and learn the ropes.

Cowboy was an immediate hit with the younger boys, being about the same age.  They romped and played and played and romped around the acre of yard.  With the older boys, he was a new face and was treated with friendly uncertainty, but no aggression.  Moony soon took charge of showing him around and teaching him about his new home.  At night he slept by my bed in the crate while the girls were in heat, a welcome change from having to shuffle him out and the girls in and vice versa during the day.  He loves the crate, and even when it is open and he is inside while the girls are out, he can often be found laying down in it.  In order to make things easier on us and to fulfill my promise to ensure that the epilepsy gene is not passed on, we had Freya spayed.  This was a very hard decision, as she is a tremendous leader dog and her work ethic is amazing.  It was hard to decide it wasn't worth the risk to breed her again.  Our foundation hope now lies with Princess and Ace.

Ghost also loves to play with him, and is getting so big!  Soon it will be time to take him to the shows.  His training is coming along very well, however, it has been hard to get him to the Kennel Club practices since my husband now goes to school in the evenings.  But we will be gearing up for puppy matches starting next month.

Meanwhile our AC gave out, so we had to get some window units, and our roof was torn up by a storm.  Fortunately the insurance helped pay for our new roof, but not the AC.  It will probably be some time until we can afford to replace that.  Oh and my husband's car was on its last legs, so we traded it in for a 2012 Subaru Impreza.  Great gas mileage, and I'm pretty pleased with the pep and features.

Over the past few weeks, Cowboy's confidence and comfort level has grown and he has become an integral part of our family and pack.  He loves the big yard and loves being able to play with the other dogs.  This morning I was able to allow the girls to interact with him without him attempting to mount even though Princess played with him.  Cowboy seemed completely uninterested in anything but play, not even a sniff, so we should be ok.  It will be a relief to not have to shuffle dogs in and out for 5 or 6 months.  With that out of the way, I should be able to concentrate on Ghost's and Cowboy's show training.

Dog cookies, Iditarod and other things

In an effort to ensure our and our dogs' diets are more healthy, we've been pretty busy around here.  So far we have baked up eight dozen dog cookies (frugally, they are half the cost of store bought and we know what is and isn't in them), 40lbs of homecooked dog food, 10lbs of chicken jerky, 5lbs of dried fruits, planted 22 sweatpea plants and have a dozen tomatoes almost ready to plant.  I also have two dozen carrot clusters ready to plant in a week or so.  Of the things, we probably still have about 3lbs chicken jerky, no fruit, two dozen cookies because we baked more last night, and 10lbs of homecooked dog food.  The plants are doing well, and my orchard is beginning to bud.  Of the 9 fruit trees I've planted, 7 are still looking good, so I'm hoping we might actually get a couple of fruits this year.  Spreading diatomaceous earth and planting natural deterrants around the orchard for wild animals, so hopefully the fruit will last long enough to harvest.

Been trying to get the dogs out at least every other day for walks, and spending at least an hour a day in the dog yard playing and running with them besides them being able to spend the rest of the days and nights in the house if they so please.  My bond with the pack is stronger than ever and it is fun and amazing to be a part of their social interaction.  They never cease to amaze me with their devotion and loving natures.

Ghost is growing by the day and his adult coat is almost in.  He has the most beautiful pattern, and it accents his lines well.  He is going to be one striking boy!

Bandit has been doing well, and we hope he will continue to do well now that we know exactly what level of medication he has to be at.  So though we are busy with spring planting, cleaning and repairs, at least we are not in a state of emergency.

On the mushing front, I have been very happy to follow the Iditarod with an insider package.  Just wish I had more time to use it.  However, today has been very riviting, and I hope to watch the live finish in just a few hours.  Aliy has given Dallas Seavy a run for his money, but unless he has a mishap, it looks like Dallas will take the win.  It is still a running game between Aliy and Ramey Smythe for second though, but she's staying a constant mileage ahead of him.  This has been one of the most exciting races in years!

Puppy Love

Ghost has been doing very well with us, and has quickly become a beloved member of the pack.  Each of the dogs have taken turns playing with him and making him feel welcome.  He has two surrogate moms, Moony and Ace.  Both girls dote on him as if he were their own. 

Lately he and Princess have become playmates, and she plays with him quite a bit.  I even caught him playing with Samantha and even Demon.  Yukon will play by running at him with his roar then jump over him as he cowers.  He'll also let Ghost chase him around.  Bandit and Ghost play constantly, and we have to keep an eye on them as Bandit sometimes doesn't know when to stop (meds impair his judgement).  Bucky too will get a little rough, but generally backs off when Ghost whines.

This morning (March 9) Ghost outgrew his puppy pen, he learned how to jump out of it.  Since he was big enough to get out on his own, we figured it was time he was allowed to go in and out on his own.  This morning I took down the pen. 

He is growing so fast!  He is becoming a beautiful dark gray along his back, but his neck is light white still with a line of gray on either side of it up to the top of his head around his mask.  He is getting to be one gorgeous boy!

Bandit and Ghost

Monday night the 20th, Bandit seemed to be clingy and have 'auras' where he would appear to be in ictal with no noticed seizure.  I began to worry and watch him very carefully.

Tuesday evening the 21st Bandit began having a cluster seizure event.  It started around 6:30pm.  He experienced head shaking, progressing in to stiffness and paddling and loss of bladder control.  The whole episode lasted about 30 seconds and his post ictal was a little less than a minute.  We gave him an extra 60mg pheno, and some Ice Cream to help cool his core temperature and give him back some calories (each GM is like running a marathon).  He came out of ictal, but was exhibiting strong 'auras' like being in half ictal much like the first cluster event, and I knew we were going to be in for a long night, but hoped we could keep it under control.

He had another seizure at 9:40, so we gave him the 2ml of valium we had on hand, some ice cream, and he made it another 4 hours before he had another seizure. 

At 1:30 am he started the head shaking and chomping.  I administered what is referred to as Occular Compression (the idea is to press lightly inward on the eyes which have a very direct connection to the brain in order to spark perhaps an instinctive avoidance reaction enough to bring a dog out of the nerve storm caused by the seizure).  This seemed to work and stopped his progression from head shaking (normally he goes stiff then starts paddling, loses bladder, then reverts in to post ictal) and brought him directly back instead of ictal.  We gave him ice cream again, and 1cc of the 250mg Kbr.

At 2:45 he had a GM while standing!  This was very unusual, as Bandit normally has them from sleeping.  Administered Occular Compression, but this time did not seem to help although he came out of the GM and post ictal very quickly.  We decided to wait and see if the 250mg Kbr would make a difference so decided we wouldn't take him to emergency unless he had another GM.
 
At 4:10am he had another GM while standing.  I administered Occular Compression, and he came out of the stiffness and did not go in to paddling.  There was no post ictal.  We decided to rush him to the emergency vet, so packed him up, and I held on to him and held his attention for the hour trip down.

We arrived shortly after 5am at BVS, and thankfully the Dr that watched over Bandit last time and knew his history was there.  He's an internal med specialist, so was very knowledgeable and very interested in Bandit's condition.  They put in a catheter and administered 10mg of valium.

At 6am Bandit had another GM while standing, I was unable to bring him out of it using OC, and the Dr seemed interested in my effort to try to bring him out of it.  The GM progressed from head shaking, chomping, stiffness, paddling and loss of bladder.  I held him down while the Vet tech administered 10mg valium into the catheter they had put in his left foreleg.

Bandit was back on his feet in less than 10 mins, and acted as if he needed to go out, so I took him for a walk outside, and at 6:49 he began seizing in the parking lot!  I administered OC while pulling him desperately towards the clinic and pleading with him to come out of it and not seize in the parking lot!  He came out of it, and I rushed him back inside.

At 7:05 he had another full GM where OC did not work.  During ictal he pood out some very nasty smelling poo, not his normal smell.  They administered another 10mg of valium, and we packed him up to go to our normal vet.

At 1030 Bandit had another GM at the normal vet's office, but they did not observe any other incidents, and told us we could pick him up in the afternoon.  At 16:30 we picked him up and brought him home, though he was still exhibiting strong auras

At 1908 he had another seizure, OC did not help, but GM was mild and ictal was very short.  We gave him the Valium we had on hand (10mg), but he was still exhibiting auras.

Sure enough at 2109 he had another GM, so we rushed him back to the ER vet and left him in their care (we were both exhausted and needed sleep)

Bandit had another seizure at 2am according to the ER vet, but that was apparently the last one they witnessed.  We picked him up around 10am, but he was still exhibiting auras, and I was afraid we would have to take him back again.  By 2pm he appeared to have a petit mal, lots of suspicious eye activity and appeared to be ictal, but I called his name and scratched his ears and he came out of it.  By 4pm his auras began to fade and I started hoping we had seen the last of the S monster for now.  I fed him 1.5 cups of moistened kibble, waited 4 hours and fed him another 1.5 cups of moistened kibble to help re-hydrate him and get some calories in to him.  He had a minor spit up around 11am, and still had the shakes, but they gradually faded.

By Friday morning he was back to his cheeful self and was full of play.

Due to the expense and worry over Bandit, we decided not to attend the Kalkaska Winterfest.

Happenings

Thursday night the 2nd, I took several pics of G'kar, knowing it was the last night we would have with him.

Poor old man tried to turn around and couldn't stay standing.  I remember him as a young pup, so full of life with laughing eyes.  So much has passed since then.  The twelve years we lived in North Carolina, he grew up a southern husky.  We used to call him 'Iron Gut' to honor the day he stole a whole pan of brownies off the counter and ate them all with no noticeable side effects besides a slightly softer stool than normal.  G'kar loved bread, and we always had to hide it in the fridge or inside cupboards, because if we left it out, he would eat it, even a whole loaf still unopened in the wrapper.  Still, he was a very healthy and fit dog, agile as a cat, and could jump like nobody's business.  To his credit, though he could jump the 6' fence, he never did.  He much rather stay by us at our home, and accompany me on many walks rather than take excursions on his own.  But no fence or barrier would ever come between him and me. 

He jumped boxes, tore up crates, soared over baby gates, tore down wood doors to be at my side.  He was my shadow in more ways than one.  He was always at my side even though he was supposed to be my husband's dog.  He slept by my bed, followed me anytime I left the room, and pined for me while I was away at work.  When I would come home he would greet me at the door with "herrrrooow!"  If he could talk, he would have, and tried to on many occasions.  He was my buddy through thick and thin, and I miss him terribly.

Jim went out and bought him a 12oz sirloin, and I heated it in the toaster oven to 180 degrees, chopped it in to bite size pieces and fed him.  He happily gobbled down the gormet offering, and let me hug him and pet him for a while.  When I let him go, he resumed his awful pain-filled pacing, his eyes glazing over again.  We gave him a full dog-aspirin, and got him to lay down after it began to take effect.  He fell immediately asleep.

At 10am I carried a distressed G'kar out to the truck.  A cranky and fussy old man to the last, not happy with the undignified means of transport, but he was in so much pain all he could do was fuss.  When I got in beside him, he did not want to sit still, but as he tried to move around in the back of our expedition, he was unable to keep to his feet.  Each time he lost control of his back legs, he screamed in agony, and I couldn't help the tears.  It tore at my very soul to feel his agony.  I managed to get him to kind of stay on the seat beside me so I could hold up his back end and relieve some of his pain.  But the corners were unkind to him, and each time he lost his footing he would scream, not a howl or yip, but a true scream.  If there was any way I could have spared him the agony kindly, I would have.  I longed for the vet we had in NC who would have come to the house, but we have no such luxury here.  Our vet here has been wonderful, don't get me wrong, and they have been very good with our pack, but they are daytime only and too many clients for housecalls.  At least they were able to fit us in with their busy schedule, and for that I was grateful.

The girls at the office were kind and sympathetic, they've known G'kar for the three years we have been here and they remarked how much he changed over the last six months since they'd seen him.  It was apparent he didn't recognize any of them, or even where he was.  The journey had taken the last out of him.  We said our goodbyes, and I lifted him on to the waiting blanket.  I stroked his head as I cried and let him know I loved him as he quickly and peacefully succumbed to the euthanizing drug.  Just as we had the responsibility to care for him in his life, we had the responsibility to ensure a peaceful ending to his suffering. 

I do believe that animals have souls, and maybe it was my imagination, or maybe it was real, but on my way home, I felt a cold touch on the side of my face.  The touch of an ethereal husky tongue, and a warm feeling came over me as if his spirit came to me and thanked me for letting him go.  At that moment, I was at peace, and began to remember the good times.  He was a wonderful dog, companion, shadow, fuzzy kid, and I had no regrets except that his life was shorter than mine.

As if the stress I was feeling was contagious, during the night at about 1:30am Sunday night/Monday morning, Bandit had his first seizure in 7 months. It was a full grand mal. It was mild, considering the GM's he had in July, with only minor head shaking progressing in to stiff arching, paddling, and teeth chomping for less than 30 seconds. Ictal was a short 2 minutes. Ice cream administered and rescue remedy after I found it. We immediately gave him an extra 60mg Pheno pill and watched him carefully. At least this ...answered the question regarding the cause of his seizures. Though the jerky treats may have been reponsible for the onset of the seizures, it is now obvious they are not responsible for his continued condition. This also answers the question of whether or not exercise has been a trigger. I had been sick the past week so had not taken them out running.

Bandit may have had another seizure Tuesday morning, but unfortunately he was outside and I found him near a wet spot that looked like it might have been his saliva.  Other than that, there were no signs and I could not be sure he actually had one, but with his medication level back up, he hasn't had a problem since.  Though we may never get all of the old Bandit back, I am thankful we have a small bit of him back.  He has become more loving and less of the drunk and disorderly overgrown 4 month old puppy.  He and the new puppy Ghost are becoming pals.

Sunday the 12th, I finally felt well enough to take the team back out for some much needed exercise.  Princess did not want to turn around when I asked Freya to come around.  This resulted in a bit of a battle of wills and a lot of untangling, but I finally managed to get her to realize that she wouldn't get any fish unless she went back to the house.  When she got it, we were hell bent for leather back towards the house.